A spouse is not just a companion; they are a force that either strengthens your faith or leads you astray. History provides us with two striking examples, one of betrayal and destruction, the other of faith and sacrifice.
Ibn Muljim and Qatam – A Love That Led to Doom
After the Battle of Siffin, Ibn Muljim, a man who once appeared devoted to worship, received permission from Imam Ali to return to Kufa and inform the people of the Imam’s victory. As he walked through the streets, he entered an area where the enemies of Imam Ali resided.
There, he met Qatam, a woman of extraordinary beauty, but one who harbored deep hatred against the Imam. Her father and brother had fought against Imam Ali in Siffin and were killed. When she heard this news, she was consumed by grief and anger.
Seeing Ibn Muljim, she asked about her family. Upon learning the truth, she screamed, wept, and fainted. When she regained consciousness, she acted as if she had fallen for Ibn Muljim. Playing on his emotions, she suddenly asked if he liked her.
Ibn Muljim, taken aback, admitted his attraction to her. She then proposed marriage, but with three deadly conditions.
- The assassination of Imam Ali
- A large sum of gold
- A slave
Blinded by desire, he agreed. But Qatam did not leave his mission to chance. She sent him to Damascus, where Mu’awiya and Marwan trained and funded him. When Ibn Muljim returned, he met Qatam, who had set up camp outside Masjid Kufa under the pretense of performing I’tikaf. This was not an act of devotion, but part of the plot.
On the night of the 19th of Ramadan, she provided Ibn Muljim with wine and prepared him for the mission. That very night, he entered the mosque and struck Imam Ali with a poisoned sword, carrying out the most treacherous crime in history.
This is how Qatam did not just misguide Ibn Muljim, she turned him into a murderer of the Imam of his time.
Umme Wahab and Abdullah bin Umayr – A Marriage of Faith and Sacrifice
In contrast, Karbala gives us the perfect example of a spouse who strengthens her husband’s resolve.
Abdullah bin Umayr al-Kalbi, a resident of Kufa from the tribe of Bani Ulaym, one day saw an army gathering in the date-palm gardens of Kufa. Curious, he asked about it and learned that they were preparing to fight Imam Hussain, the grandson of the Holy Prophet.
His heart burned with anger, and he declared that Allah knew how much he wanted to fight in His cause against the enemies of truth and that no reward could be greater than defending the grandson of the Prophet.
Determined, he returned home and told his wife, Lady Umme Wahab, about his intention to join Imam Hussain.
Instead of stopping him, she wholeheartedly supported him and told him that it was an excellent idea, praying for Allah to guide him and asking him to take her with him as well.
Both left Kufa at night and reached Karbala before the 8th of Muharram. On the morning of Ashura, as the enemy advanced, Abdullah stepped forward and sought permission from Imam Hussain to fight.
He bravely entered the battlefield, taking on two skilled warriors from Ubaydullah ibn Ziyad’s army. He defeated them both and continued fighting until he was martyred. He became the second martyr of Ashura, after Muslim bin Awsaja.
The Lesson
Qatam turned Ibn Muljim into an enemy of the Imam of his time.
Umme Wahab strengthened her husband to become a martyr for the Imam of his time.
A righteous spouse does not hold you back from sacrifice, they prepare you for it.
If we look around, we will find many examples where believers prioritize a woman, whether a wife or a girlfriend, over their Imam. Before they realize it, Iblees traps them through this weakness of desire.
A true believer should always be careful and ask themselves. Will your spouse help you stay on the right path and support the Imam of your time, or will they lead you away from him?
References:
References:
Masoudi, Abu Al-Hasan Ali Bin Al-Husain, Promoting Gold and Mines of Al-Jawhar, research, Daghar, Asad, vol. 2, p. 411, Qom, Dar al-Hijrah, second edition, 1409 AH; Sheikh Mofid, Al-Arshad fi Marafah Hajjullah Ali Al-Abad, vol. 1, p. 18, Qom, Sheikh Mofid Congress, first edition, 1413 AH.
Al-Arshad, vol. 1, p. 18. Of course, in some reports, Akhdir Baradar Qatam is mentioned. Balazri, Ahmed bin Yahya, Ansab al-Ashraf, research, Zakar, Sohail, Zarkali, Riyadh, vol. 2, p. 491, Beirut, Dar al-Fikr, first edition, 1417 AH.
Ansab al-Ashraf, vol. 11, p. 278; Hali, Razi al-Din Ali bin Yusuf, Al-Salkar al-Qawiya for alleviating the fears of Al-Yumiya, researcher, corrector, Rajai, Mahdi, Marashi, Mahmood, p. 239, Qom, Ayatollah Marashi Najafi library, first edition, 1408 AH.
Ibn Atham Kufi, Ahmad Ibn Atham, al-Futuh, research, Shiri, Ali, vol. 4, p. 278, Beirut, Dar al-Adhawa, 1411 AH.
Ansab al-Ashraf, vol. 2, p. 487.
Moruj al-Dahaab and Al-Jawhar mines, vol. 2, p. 411.
Ibn Abd al-Barr, Yusuf bin Abd Allah, Al-Istiyab fi Marafah al-Sahhab, research, Al-Bajawi, Ali Muhammad, vol. 3, p. 1124, Beirut, Dar Al-Jeel, first edition, 1412 AH.
A probe into history of ashura by Ibrahim Ayati
